Video: Spencer's Journey

For those that were unable to attend or could not be there due to distance this is the slide show that I did for Spencer's Celebration of Life Service.  Pictures soon to come. 

THANK YOU...just doesn't seem like enough

One week ago from today I had planned and prepared for the arrival of my second son, Spencer, as much as anyone could. I had no idea what the rest of that day would bring me. It is still hard for me to imagine and really, truly understand what my family and friends went through that evening. I am still hearing stories about what happened Monday evening and through the following morning. Every story makes the whole evening, that was a nightmare to them, more real for me.  I was given full details from my doctor on Tuesday evening after I was transferred out of ICU with my husband sitting next to me while I lay in my hospital bed. It is hard to hear the information given from your doctor and trying to imagine what she must have felt being one of the four trying to save your life. After understanding what had happened I think I was in a state of shock, you just don't ever think that that could happen to you. 

Thank you just doesn't seem like enough. I wished there was more I could do for everyone involved - family, friends, those praying near and far.  THANK YOU to my family and friends who stood by me during that evening and prayed for me.  THANK YOU for the countless number of prayers by so many of you I know personally and those I have never met.  THANK YOU for all the phone calls, emails, Facebook posts, cards, flowers, and food for our family while I was recovery. THANK YOU to my husbands aunt for her prayer quilt that she started Tuesday morning at 4:30am and mailed to us, it was beautiful and brought tears to my eyes as we read the card you wrote.  THANK YOU to my home church, Resurrection Lutheran, for setting up a blood drive in my benefit and all those that came out to donate. Donations received that day were 27 units of blood. Lastly, a special THANK YOU to the team of doctors, anesthesiologists, and nurses that did everything possible to save my life and helped with my recovery while I was in the hospital. I am forever indebted to each of you for your incredible hard work and knowing exactly what to do when time was critical. Each of you are truly amazing people and it should not ever go unnoticed. I am truly beyond blessed and words can not express how much I appreciate everyone who has played a role in my recovery, you will always have a special place in my heart. THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!

"We always thank God for all of you and continually mention you in our prayers." 1 Thessalonians 1:2

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer."  Romans 12:12

"I thank my God every time I remember you."  Philippians 1:3

"Praise the Lord. Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever."  Psalm 106:1

"Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Celebration of Life Service for Spencer Alexander Nelson

Since January 7, 2014, many of you have joined us in this journey of Spencer's life together. Therefore, we would like to extend an open invitation to our Celebration of Life Service for Spencer Alexander Nelson:

Date: Friday, March 28, 2014
Time: 6:30 PM

Location (our home church): Resurrection Lutheran Church - Sanctuary
1612 Meadow Edge Lane
Spring, TX 77388
Church Phone:  281-353-4413
http://www.churchthatcares.org/

Please understand that this is a celebration of his life - therefore, we encourage all to wear bright and cheerful colors to celebrate our angel's earthly life.  Pictures of Spencer will be displayed, as Spencer will be privately buried prior to this service.

Our family cannot thank everyone enough for the countless prayers, thoughts, and words of encouragement we have received throughout this entire journey.  We have been blessed and lifted up beyond belief.  All of this is attributable to our little angel, and God's ability to witness through him.

Your thoughts and prayers have been more than enough throughout this journey.  However, if anyone desires another way to give, we have gone ahead and established a tribute in Spencer's name to the benefit of Texas Children's Hospital.  The maternal / fetal center there worked wonders to try and save our son's life.  Thank you again!
https://waystogive.texaschildrens.org/Spencer

3 Hours After Delivery...

Three hours after delivery, our immediate family decided to go back to our house and allow mom and dad to say their goodbyes to baby Spencer.  About 5 minutes after everyone leaves, mom starts complaining of light-headedness and being dizzy.  Dad phones in the nurse, and blood pressure is checked:  60 over 30.  Within seconds comes an anesthesiologist and mom's OB.  Cords are torn from the walls and the doctor says we need to go into surgery immediately.  Dad is left in the room with Baby Spencer wondering what just happened.

From that point forward, the whole family comes back to the hospital with concern over mom's condition.  Over the next 4 hours, mom is in the operating room under the care of 4 anesthesiologist and 4 OBs.  This was honestly the longest 4 hours of our life.

Sparing all the details, mom had significant internal bleeding that was a serious - life threatening serious.  In a 4 hour period, 7 units of blood were transfused into mom along with other fluids to support blood pressure and life.

From the operating room, mom was transferred to the ICU under critical condition.  Essentially all the blood in mom's body was replaced with other blood and fluids.  The night of 3/17 was the longest night of our life - we had already lost one life and the thought of losing two was unbearable - this truly was unthinkable.  It was a nightmare that we couldn't wake up from.

Over the night, mom's fluids were monitored and adjusted to sustain life.  Unable to sleep, Dad was watching blood pressure monitors like it was a stock ticker - blood pressure ranging 160/90 to 80/40.  Labs taken hourly to monitor kidneys, liver, and blood composition.

Around 3AM, we hit a low.   Mom's blood pressure and vitals did not appear to be responding to the fluids and dad's anxiety level increased.  Mom's body was working against itself because of the shock of fluids and new blood on her body.  Dad spent 20 minutes on the phone with the primary OB under a "panic attack" questioning everything about the care, whether doctors needed to be in the room (not nurses), and whether we were even in the right ICU (should we be downtown?).  Two more units of blood were transferred in - where is God in this damn madness?  Were we truly going to lose another life?  We were not going down without a fight.

From 3-6AM, we (mom's mother, sister, and husband) spent the hours praying ("please spare her life" over and over), holding her hand, kissing and whispering in her ear to fight for life.  Sleep was secondary to life.  At 5-6AM, mom's vitals improved some, but not substantially.  She was still on the fence but appeared to be responding a little better.

From 6AM - 8AM the ICU is closed to visitors for shift change.  Rules are made to be broken so we tried that - unsuccessfully.  From 6 - 8AM we tried to sleep, but it was difficult.  After dozing off briefly, husband woke up at 8:15AM.  Running upstairs to check the status, he makes it to her room to see the blinds open, her sitting up, ventilator out, and holding a water - God had mercy on her and us.  PRAYERS HAD BEEN ANSWERED.  It was a true blessing with immediate tears of happiness to see her awake and stabilized - she didn't know where she was at or what happened, but it was a gift unlike any other - while we lost Spencer, we got his mom back.

It's the evening of 3/19 today, and mom has continued to show improvement every hour and day.  We don't know how long we will be in the hospital (probably 3/21 or 3/22), but rest and slow progress is all the reassurance we need.  The doctors, nursing staff, and patient care has been nothing less than exceptional at Memorial Herman.  We are truly grateful to all family, friends, and everyone that has been praying for our situation.  There are many blessings we are thankful for.

SPECIAL THANKS TO ALL WHO DONATE BLOOD AND IF YOU DON'T - PLEASE CONSIDER

2 Corinthians 9:15 - "Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift."

Spencer Alexander Nelson Arrived

On 3/17/2014 at 12:34PM, Spencer Alexander Nelson arrived via cesarean.  He was immediately placed skin-to-skin to ensure he was comfortable in mom's hands and could hear her heartbeat.  Because of Spencer's low amniotic fluid, his lung development was very weak.  He did whimper upon arrival and his heartbeat dropped to 40-60 beats per minute.  Spencer remained in mom's arms and was blanketed with dad's hands until he went to be with Jesus at 1:05PM (31 minutes later).  He was truly loved each minute and second that he was with us.  There were no signs of struggle or pain during the peaceful transition of our precious angel.

We were blessed that the hospital allowed our Pastor and a photographer (through Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep organization) to spend this special time with us in the operating room.  Spencer was baptized almost immediately upon arrival, which is a special memory that we could share with him during his brief earthly life.

After Spencer passed, we had a chance to see more of our precious child.  He weighed in at 4 lbs 9 ozs and measured 18.25 inches at a 30 week gestational age (we were surprised at his height).  His facial features look very similar to our first son, with the exception that Spencer had reddish blonde hair - he really was a very beautiful baby.  Dad had the opportunity to give Spencer his first and only bath (always his job with our first son:) ) so that was a special time for him.  We dressed Spencer in a small outfit for family introductions.

Overall, the time with Spencer was peaceful, comfortable, and emotional.  We were blessed to be surrounded by our immediate family and share this special moment with all those involved.  Pictures of Spencer and more information to come...

The song below was written by Angie and Todd Smith of Selah, who lost their daughter to a terminal condition.  It was very fitting for our circumstances and touched us in a special way:

I Will Carry You - Selah (Boy Version) 

There were photographs I wanted to take
Things I wanted to show you
Sing sweet lullabies, wipe your teary eyes
Who could love you like this?

People say that I am brave but I’m not
Truth is I’m barely hanging on
But there’s a greater story
Written long before me
Because He loves you like this

So I will carry you
While your heart beats here
Long beyond the empty cradle
Through the coming years
I will carry you
All my life
And I will praise the One Who’s chosen me
To carry you

Such a short time
Such a long road
All this madness
But I know
That the silence
Has brought me to His voice
And He says…

I’ve shown him photographs of time beginning
Walked him through the parted seas
Angel lullabies, no more teary eyes
Who could love him like this?

I will carry you
While your heart beats here
Long beyond the empty cradle
Through the coming years
I will carry you
All your life
And I will praise the One Who’s chosen Me
To carry you

Spencer's Date to Arrive

As you know, my doctor originally scheduled us for March 6th and since we decided to delay it, we had to discuss a new date to go with. We both discussed that any date we picked would not be something we would look forward to, but we both knew that it was something that we needed to do. After discussing it, I called my doctor and spoke with the nurse on Friday, February 28th, to let her know that we would be open to any time March 14th or after.  On Wednesday, March 5th, I received a call from my doctor stating that I was scheduled for delivery on March 17th. After realizing that I said any day after March 14th I forgot that my son's best friend's birthday is March 17th. I told the doctor this and asked her if it would be possible to change it to another day that week. She said she would look into it and get back with me. I spoke to the nurse on Thursday, March 6th, to find out that we were unable to change it so we will get to meet our sweet baby boy on March 17th.  My friend, whose son's birthday is the same day, and I discussed that although we would have preferred it be another day, we said that it is all part of God's plan. We said that it would be a day we would always celebrate her son's birthday and remember Spencer.  Both of us have had so many things in our lives that have connected us in different ways and this is just one more that will forever keep us connected. 

On March 17th, we ask that you be in prayer for our family and Spencer as we celebrate his precious life.  Thank you all for taking this journey with us and the love, support, and continual prayers you have given us throughout this time. Without each one of you, our journey would have been much more difficult. We are truly blessed by all of our family and friends during this time.  We will keep you updated with any new information about Spencer and his service through this blog. 

"'I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the Lord. For his whole life he will be given over to the Lord.' And he worshiped the Lord there."  1 Samuel 1:27, 28

Baby Nelson Has A Name

Many have asked what Baby Nelson's name will be and we have finally decided to let everyone know. We have always struggled to agree on a name.  Even with our first son we surveyed the nurses on two names we had picked out for him. So with that being said, we had two names each for his first and middle name and decided to let our first son pick which names he liked best. So Baby Nelson's name will be Spencer Alexander Nelson. So now when you lift up our son in prayer, please pray for our sweet Spencer. Thank you again for all the continual prayers.

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."  Psalm 139:13-16

Unexpected Call

Today (Wednesday, February 26th) was a day we were heading out for our vacation, a time we truly needed. We were excited because our first son was about to experience a lot of firsts - first plane ride, first vacation with just us, first sight of snow, first time to ski, etc. We finally make it to our destination in Salt Lake City, Utah and as we are almost to the home we will be staying at when my phone rings, it is my OB - this call was not expected at all.

She begins to tell me that she had made several phone calls today regarding what we had discussed yesterday.  She said that everything is good for me to deliver with her, which is a huge relief to me. She said there were a few loose ends that she needed to tie up but 99% was taken care of and all was good for when the time came. She then proceeds to tell me that she spoke with my high risk OB and discussed what the sonogram revealed yesterday. They both decided that due to his condition, it would be best to deliver sooner than later - I figured this might happen. As we continue to discuss this she tells me that she has schedule my c-section for the following Thursday, March 6th, at noon - I was shocked. She tells me that if we are not ready to do this next week, which we were not, we could delay it for another time. I ask if I can call her on Monday to let her know, but unfortunately since there are several things that must be in place for the delivery, we needed to make a decision by Friday. After I get off the phone with my doctor, I tell my husband what she said and tears began to fall from my eyes - I was not expecting this and I don't know how ready I am for all of this. We both decide that next week is entirely to soon and that we still have several things we need to put in place before we go in.  Additionally, we didn't want this news to consume the time that we had scheduled for our little family (including Baby Nelson).  We had to just separate this news from our current reality and say, we must enjoy this time, now, today, and not worry about the delivery.

I called my doctor on Friday to let her know we are just not ready and that we will know more next week. We know that he will be here this month, but we do not have an exact date at this time.  Please be praying for us as we have a lot of decisions and plans to make over the next week or so. 

"I am feeble and utterly crushed; I groan in anguish of heart. All my longings lie open before you, Lord; my sighing is not hidden from you. Lord, I wait for you; you will answer, Lord my God." Psalm 38:8, 9, 15

Tuesday, February 25th, 2014 - 27.5 Week OB Appointment

This week I had to go in a few days early since we are heading off for vacation to get away and spend some quality time together.  I was thankful that a close friend of mine was willing to go with me to my appointment today, since my husband had to tie up some loose ends before leaving on vacation.  It will be nice to have her there and she was excited to see and hear him, just as I enjoy seeing him also.

We go back for the sonogram and the same sonographer who scanned me at 20 weeks was scanning me again today. She remembered doing my scan and the news we had learned from that day. We discussed what I knew since that day and I asked her to let me know of anything new she found today. Today Baby Nelson was weighing, according to the sonogram, 4 lbs 15 oz - he has gained over a pound in a week and half. Remember that he can still gain weight because he is gaining nutrition from me, but his abdomen is dilated with fluid retention. His heart rate today was 126.  It is so bitter sweet to hear this sound knowing the outcome of our baby boy, but also comforting to know he is with me today. She continues to take some measurements - leg bone and arm bone are measuring at 30 weeks, head is at 32 weeks, and abdomen is measuring at 37 weeks.  I was surprised to hear that his abdomen is measuring 3 more weeks than just a week and half ago, 10 weeks ahead of his gestational age. When we were at the high risk OB, he mentioned that this could be concerning and something that might make us consider delivering early - this was definitely something that would be discussed today with my OB. As I have stated many times, his tummy is extremely dilated, just to give you a perspective, his tummy is bigger than his head. It is definitely hard to see images of his tummy with the dilated / cystic kidneys, ureters, and bladder. I also asked the sonographer about my amniotic fluid and how that was measuring - remember I have low amniotic fluid. She measured my fluid level being at 2.56 cm and said that she was being generous.  For a normal pregnancy, amniotic fluid should measure between 8 cm and 15 cm, and when it drops below 8 cm they become concerned.

When we get back to see my doctor my first question was regarding his tummy and possibility of delivering earlier than we anticipated. She said that is something to consider and we could possibly deliver at 34 weeks. Timing is not always your best friend and in our case this couldn't be more true. Our first son's birthday falls right before I am 36 weeks.  If we deliver at 34 weeks, all that is going on with Baby Nelson would fall around our first son's special day. I told the doctor this and asked her if this became something we truly needed to discuss, could we possibly do it earlier. I wanted my recovery and all that is going to come along with this to heal in time to celebrate his birthday. She agreed that this was important and said that we could work around this. Due to his abdomin being so dilated my OB recommended me switching my high risk OB appointment to next Thursday, March 6th to see if he had any concerns or recommendations for my delivery.  Since we would be flying for our vacation, my friend told me I might want to ask about compression socks since I was swelling so bad already, so I did. However, the doctor said that compression socks would give comfort but not stop the swelling, and that I just needed to get up and walk around when I could. Boy were we in desperate need of a vacation and looking forward to this - bring on the cankles, I can take it!!

I also asked my OB about how we will take care of getting the CMA (chromosomal microarray analysis) done at the time of delivery, since this was something that our genetic counselor asked us to have done to figure out were the extra material from chromosome four came from. The doctor said that it was good I brought this up as we would also need to figure out if Texas Children's would want to complete the autopsy of him. 

I know this might be hard to read, just as you might think it is hard for me to discuss with the doctors. Understand that we would love for complete and ultimate healing of our son, but we also know what our reality is and we must plan accordingly while we lift him up in prayers. So my doctor gave me some tasks of calling my clinical coordinator and my genetic counselor at TCH to complete along with my packing.  I had to do this just in case we deliver sooner than later.  Pending what we find out with these two unknowns would determine whether I could deliver with her, or have to deliver downtown with my high risk OB. I am extremely partial to my OB and would love to deliver with her, but I also understand why I might need to deliver downtown. 

I make the phone calls to both my clinical coordinator and my genetic counselor after I finish up and drop off my sweet friend. The genetic counselor says that it would not be a problem for me to deliver at my hospital with my OB as long as certain steps are followed in order to ensure that we get the blood for the CMA. She told me she would follow up with my OB and get her all the information she would need in order to make sure that this could be done. My next call to the clinical coordinator was to discuss if TCH would want to do my son's autopsy and how we would go about getting this taken care of properly if I delivered at my hospital, or do I need to deliver downtown. She said that they do have a doctor who specializes in autopsies of fetal / newborn abnormalities and anomalies. She said that she would contact her and get back with me regarding all the above questions. After a few hours, she contacts me stating that she would be able to do this and I would not need to deliver downtown, but there was some paperwork that would need to be taken care of by my doctor - I forward this on to my OB. It was a relief hearing from both of them that I would, more than likely, be able to deliver at my hospital with my OB instead of having to deliver downtown. 

As I finish this post I want to thank you all again for the continual prayers, love and support.  Also a special thank you to my friend who gave up her morning to come with me, you are truly wonderful in so many ways!!  It is times like these that remind us we truly have an amazing group of family and friends to help us through this journey. 

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10